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Writer's pictureAmanda de Athayde

Confessions of a French Teacher: Embracing My Love-Hate Relationship with France

Updated: Sep 3


Every so often along my journey as a French teacher, I’d dare reveal my well-harboured secret to some of my students.


“I’m not a francophile, you know?”


”Whatever do you mean?!”, they’d exclaim in shock. “You’re a French teacher!”.


I’d grin at the predictable reaction and leave it at that. To be honest, I couldn’t have explained it, at that point, even if I’d tried.


But now, I’m beginning to understand the complex nature of my love for France

and the French language and culture, that is neither rosy in an Emily-in-Paris-esque way, nor Sartrian in a broody or fatalistic way. Although, I did go through each phase!


Being broody in Marseille, as I sought some much-needed sun in the middle of winter

So why do I live and breathe French, two whole decades after I

began learning it?


Well, here I am, revealing my ‘big secret’ and sharing an incredible epiphany with you, dear readers!


These last two years, I took a break from teaching French and taught English in France, instead. Moving to France at 30, after the craze of Covid-19 at its peak, was a sheer contrast to the previous move - a short summer romance-like stay at the age of 20, leaving me with mixed feelings.


Taking the train to Grenoble, equipped with my face mask, hope, and more!


This second move was full of ups and downs, emotional peaks and valleys, and in August 2023, I almost left France, in a fury.


❝ But like its ‘smelliest’ of fromages and the driest of wines, France, the French, their language and even (or dare I say, especially?) their humour is an acquired taste!


Truth be told - the destination is worth the journey!


Most people either claim they either ‘love’ or ‘hate’ the French.


And they will proclaim their strong feelings with such conviction. When in reality, these feelings are often based on impressions drawn from TV shows and overshared party anecdotes reinforcing stereotypes and clichés.


Whether you take the heady la-vie-est-belle stance of a Gossip Girl character eating macarons on Champs Elysées, that of the stoic intello with a worldview steeped in nihilistic existential notions of hard ugly truths, or that of the ‘open-minded’ seasoned traveller who swears they have NEVER met anyone as terribly rude as the French… these are all but impressions.


The fact is, there is nothing simple about the French.


The frustratingly loveable thing about the French culture is that it is complex.

From their sourdough baguettes and their perfect pairings of the right kinds of cheese and wine, to the stunningly vast repertoire of at least 50 different words to express the various nuances of melancholia and the relentless need to play devil’s advocate…


… the French promise to engage all your senses and all your emotions!


It may be true that their food helped me navigate most of my mixed emotions.

So, is French for you, like it turns out it was indeed for me?


To be able to embark upon and enjoy the adventure of getting to know this curious folk, their exceptional (oui, il y a beaucoup d’exceptions!) language and mesmerising culture, is to discover and acquire a taste and love for its complexity.


For this is a culture that, simultaneously, embodies a hedonistic approach to life with a certaine joie de vivre combined with an underlying sense of unrest waiting to explode in the face of injustice! 


This is a people who have a way of navigating the world that is, somehow, simultaneously poetic and founded on reason.


❝ Turns out, to love the French is to love their mastery of complex contradictions!


So, if you’re up for a journey that will oblige you to lean a little into some discomfort, to learn to question ANYTHING you already think you know is an absolute truth, to see life for the absurd and complex experience that it is, then YES, this is a journey for you!


Are you ready? Because I certainly am! 


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1 Comment


Kavya Ashok Kumar
Kavya Ashok Kumar
Sep 11

This was a lovely read, so full of relatable morsels in a buffet of experiences and realms foreign to me!

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